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 Am I a Bad Mom?

To be a mom was my own choice. Then I wanted to be a SUPER MOM, a mom who can handle her child, her family, her career, her households and other conventional responsibilities.

Every day I wake up & just running like I am in a race to prove that yes, I am a super mom.

But wait, to whom I am proving this? Why I am doing so? Have I got frustrated?

Yes, yes, yes…

Almost every day.

I found that I have lost my own identity. I have been a mom, just mom.

Many times I want to run away. I want to go to a place where I can seat quietly, where no one knows me. I want to scream. I want to cry like hell. I want to just be me, Without any guilt, any responsibility. I just want to have freedom, fun and me time. Oh, after knowing this, you will definitely think that I am a bad mom. Seriously am I?

I mean I can’t scold on him, I can’t say anything loudly. I can’t get angry on him because I should not. As I am a mom of new gen who has promised herself to be a best mom whatever it takes. Oh God, I am sick of this. I want to quit. I don’t want to be a best mom or super mom. I want to be me…

From waking up in the morning to going to bed at night I am just running. I am always in a fear to be late or not to be proper which I should being a super mom.

Here I am mentioning the reasons why I am feeling so…

- If I am watching my phone, answering some important emails, or Whatsapp or msgs, he just snatches away my phone by saying, you are with me nah? Then put ur phone aside. I mean seriously. Why I can not? I have to answer them. I want to spend some quality time with him and He demands quantity time & it’s every time.

- If I get some important call, he immediately rushed to me & starts demanding things which he knows that it is going to be fulfilled as I don’t want him to disturb me during that call.

- Most annoying thing is when I am having my food, he wants to go to potty. I mean why?

- If I go out with my friends for movie or lunch and if he comes to know about the plan, he starts saying that how can you go without your bachhu to enjoy…Please, off course I can go & why not?

- I normally don’t watch TV but on weekends, if I want to watch it , he snatch the remote by saying “my program is going on and I have not seen it before, which he has seen more than 10 times.

I remembered an incidence when few days back when I was consulting a patient who is 11 years old and he was saying about his likes, he told me that I am the coolest mom as I know everything about cartoons. But how I can tell him that it’s not by choice.

Generally I have to wake him up in the morning and I have to juggle a lot as He always wants to sleep for more 5 minutes. And on Sundays when I want to sleep, he wakes up early and does not allows me to sleep by saying it’s Sunday, let’s play. Oh God, I only get time to sleep on Sundays only.

- When I decide to dine out for some lip smacking dish, I always end up with burgers, pizzas and pastas.

There are so many things I am fed up of being a mom. Sometimes I question myself why I have decided to be a mom? I mean was it compulsory?

Then he comes and showers me with his hugs. He is always curious to share things with me. He is the one who loves me unconditionally. He is the one who smiles with me & even gets upset, if I do. He can just come to know that I am low today, I don’t know how? May be because, there is a strong bonding between us. He just wipe off my tears by saying don’t worry mumma, everything will be all right. He always keeps saying his dad that he is mumma’s boy though his dad pampers him more than me.

I am blessed to be a mom. Yes, I know I am not perfect. There are so many things which I am learning everyday being a mom as there isn’t any manual available which guides us mom how to be the best. And the feeling of getting annoyed and getting frustrated is one of the feelings which you have to deal being a mom, and trust me it’s pretty normal.

Through this article I just want to covey moms out there that struggling to fit in ur role to be a Super mom is ok. Don’t take it harsh. Nobody is perfect and always remember one thing that you are a mom and we mom automatically have the tag ‘’SUPER MOM” as only we know our child better and trying hard to come up with our own expectations.

Publised On: Aug 05, 2016

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