What is Domestic Violence

What is Domestic Violence

The pattern of abusive behaviour in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another.

Which includes

Intimidation (to frighten or threaten someone)

Manipulation (controlling someone or something to your own advantage, often unfairly or dishonestly)

Humiliation ( is the embarrassment and shame you feel when someone makes you appear stupid, or when you make a mistake in public.)

Isolation (Isolation is the state of feeling alone and without friends or help)

Fear

Terror

Coercion(the action or practice of persuading someone to do something by using force or threats.)

Threats

Blaming

Injury

Its also called Relation Abuse, Domestic Abuse or Intimate Partner Violence

It happens between

Married Partners

Dating Partner

Cohabitant Partner

Relatives (Including Kids)

It can happen to anyone in all the walks of life, despite of Age, Gender, Race, religion, Education, Profession and Socio-economical status.

One out of 3 women and 1 out of 4 men experience domestic violence in their life

Most common age for both men & women to experience this is between 18 to25 years but still, it can be experienced in any age in life.

Domestic Abuse consists not only physical Abuse but it consists 

Physical Abuse

Emotional Abuse

Sexual Abuse

Economical Abuse

Spiritual Abuse

Apart from Physical Abuse, all other abuses are harder to detect as they don't leave bruises, marks or broken bones. But they are common and real. But most of the times they are being dismissed by the abuser or victim.

Physical Abuse

Slapping

Biting

Hitting

Pinching

Grabbing

Hair pulling

Beating

Strangulation

Shoving

Most people can recognize it. The abuser denies offering medical care to the victim or even forces for drug abuse.

Emotional Abuse

It cannot be recognized easily. However, it harms self-worth & self-esteem of an individual the most as the victim has been pushed away from family, friends and their support system who can help  Its also called psychological Abuse.

- Constant Verbal Criticism

- Shaming

- Belittling

- Guilt trip

- Name calling

- Shaming

- Threat

- Sarcasm

- Jealousy

- Trivialization

- Diminishing one's ability

- Nonverbal Coercion

- Destroying valuables

- Harming pets

- Harming the relationship with kids

- Diminishing one's ability

- Isolation

Sexual Abuse

- Forcing /coercing partner sexually

- Unwanted kissing, touching and Rape

- Threats to achieve Sexual Act

- Explicit photos and videos

- Forced misuse of Contraceptive

- Forced Pregnancy/abortion

- Sexual Insult

Financial Abuse

Is making or attempting to make an individual financially dependent by taking total control over financial recourses by

- Forbidding from work

- Forcing one to work without pay

- Controlling money

- Put on an allowance

- misuse of cards/ credits

- ruining credits

- withholding basic necessities like food, clothing, housing and medical care etc.

Spiritual Abuse

forbiddance to practice beliefs

Manipulating an individual to behave in a certain way

and forcing them to believe that abuse is a part of relationship & divorce is not an option. an abuser also justifies abuse as a religious scripter.  

When you talk to the victim about the abuser they all say that the relationship started off well or the abuser is perfectly charming out of the relationship and they spend almost all the time with them. But the harmless acts converts into abuse gradually. frequency and intensity of abuse may vary. Even the abuser may apologize for the behaviour or deeds. And try to convince the victim that they have done this out of love & care, or they just lost their control temporarily however the power & control intensifies every time in spite of their apology. Every time the physical abuse get more violent.

It is difficult to understand, why someone abuses the other one...is it mental illness, alcohol or drug abuse, life pressures or anger management issues which leads someone to be abusive? none of said is right. Instead abuse caused by the belief that they have the right to control their partner. 

Domestic violence not only affects the victim but it affects family, friends, relatives, society, eyewitnesses and most importantly children.

Above all always remember that abuse is never your fault. You don't deserve to be with a partner who makes you feel unsafe or harms you physically and emotionally. It is also up to you and you alone, to see when is the safest time is to leave your abuser and plan an escape.

Publised On: Jan 17, 2019